The Goth Guy
Feel free to go out with the goth guy if you want, that is if you're OK waking to find that he's half way through burying you in a grave shaped like a pentagram. Also when you go to Subway to get sandwiches together he'll usually end up asking something embarrassing like, "I don't know if I want tomatoes on my turkey club or not, do you know if tomatoes are considered evil?"
The Guy Who Looks Up To The Goth Guy
This is the guy that thinks the guy who thinks dressing up in lingerie designed for a black widow spider is cool. I can promise you if this guy asks you out, its to have dinner with his mother, who he lives alone with. And you'll spend most of the meal in uncomfortable silence while he and his mother shout things at each other like: "Eat your mashed potatoes they have vitamins in them!" "No Mom I'm fifteen now I eat what I want!"
The Quarterback
If he really likes you for you, then why is he always looking in the mirror and winking at his own biceps while you guys make out?
The Valedictorian
He's not the smartest guy at the school, he just has asbergers and no social life. If you go on a date with him he'll take you to the math museum so you can watch him list off all the numbers after the decimal in pie.
The Guy That Smokes Cigarettes Out Behind The Bleachers
Yeah, those cigarettes do make him look cool and like he doesn't give a damn. But this guy is way out of your crazy league. He also carries a pocket knife, and the hand bones of a squirrel he killed because he wanted to see, "its soul leaving it's body." Which is only moderately hot. Unless you're a female protagonist in a Tim Burton movie.
The Guy Who Draws Pictures Of You On His Notebook
Can you say like, totally, obsessed? If they were any more OMG to the max about you he'd be sneaking in your room and cutting off locks of your hair while you sleep. Which would be sort of cute if he was taping them to his diary, but that's not why he wants them Karen, he wants them so he can extract the DNA to build a clone of you to fight you to the death, and if you lose, his clone of you will take over your life. And that's pretty much the worst date ever, if you ask me.
The Science Teacher
Even if you've got a thing for older guys, even if you feel bad for him because he lives alone, do not go out with the Science Teacher. I don't care how many X's and O's he leaves next to the A+ grade he gave you on your science test. First of all he's creepy, which is bad enough. But it's illegal for a minor to go out with an adult. It's called being an "adultophile" and it's illegal in most states, not to mention it stays on your record. You don't want to have to go around whatever neighborhoods you end up living in for the rest of your life having to tell your neighbors you used to seduce adults.
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